the gift of grace

There is one week of the year that I always look forward to. Bible school in Kentucky! It brings back so many great memories and is such a cherished time with family. My kids wait for it year-round and can't wait to go get spoiled by their grandparents and of course see "Bible-School Kim", my cousin who has been known by that name since the first time the kids went four years ago!

But this summer I have felt overwhelmed. Today I was trying to figure out our crafts and special music--and yes, it begins in two days. I was driving back from Chattanooga tonight feeling like maybe I wasn't spiritually worthy to be in charge of crafts and music.

But being alone in my mini-van also made me alone with my thoughts and talks with God. I could actually feel Him telling me "Are you really going to be that ungrateful?"

Me. Ungrateful? What??? I am constantly pushing stumbling blocks from my life out of the way lately. I never thought this would be my life at 34 years old. I never thought I would be ending a marriage and figuring out how to live as myself again. When friends ask, "How do you stay so strong?" I answer with conviction, "With God. I've prayed more in the past 6 months than in my entirety of my life." So how would I seem ungrateful?

Because some part of me keeps forgetting to be a gracious recipient of His grace. I started thinking, yeah...how would I feel if I gave my kids a gift that cost me everything and they constantly refused it saying, "I'm not worthy of that gift", "I should have been a better child yesterday", "I need to stay focused on what you want me to do, Mom".

Yep. It would devastate me.

So I'm taking the gift of grace with glee and enthusiasm. I will be grateful. It was given to me and I'm going to use it during my times of frustration. I'm going to use it when I criticize myself for my attitude or actions of the day. I'm going to use it to forgive myself and to forgive others. I mean, that is what it is there for.

I may not have the perfect music or the most dazzling crafts for Bible school this year. But I do have a gift that means so much more. My heart will be filled with grace and love & hopefully the kids will see how much that really means.

inspiration returned

Since my camera has been dysfunctional (early October) I have felt like a piece of me was missing. I couldn't capture my favorite moments on film just in my mind. I knew I liked photography but didn't realize how much until that part of my life was gone.

But my inspiration returned this Christmas. Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! A working camera is now in my hands again. I received my mother-in-laws INCREDIBLE hand-me-down camera.

I have lots to blog about and now that I'm back to taking pictures I'm sure I'll be inspired. I just hope my few readers haven't left for good....

Christmas was wonderful! Full of laughter and sweet child innocence (and mischief). But one of my favorite moments is this....

When we were at Matt's mom's house the extended family came over for Christmas. With a room full of people opening presents, Kaya received a rock star Barbie kit from her cousins Josh & Nikki. She immediately stripped her clothes off, put on her costume, and rocked out for us. For a long time. Non-stop. Getting louder and louder for us. She just kept singing and singing, oblivious to the fact that everyone was still opening gifts. She was full of energy, joy, and laughter. After each song she giggled like crazy. I wish you could have been there but if you weren't........here are the photos---

I hope everyone else had a holiday filled with laughter and lots of love! I'm glad to back in the blogging world!!!

first fishing trip

Although I've never been known to be the "outdoorsy" type, I have always loved fishing. Fishing with my Dad. We would always bundle up and race down the lake in the boat to find the perfect spot (located above broken tree branches) to fish for crappie and bluegill. It is one of my favorite things in the world to do and it has been way too long since I've had that peaceful activity in my life.

So today, when my Dad wanted to know if it was too cold to take the kids fishing for the first time, I was thrilled. Now for most, it would have been too cold....but not for my Dad. He's not just the leisure fisherman, he is serious business fisherman. And he always took me when it was cold and I wanted my kids to have the real taste of fishing.

So we froze driving down the lake. The best part about freezing however is when you stop. Then the sun hits the lake's reflection and warms you up..........inside and out.

I love the quiet. The calm. The patience required to catch a fish.

And when you feel that first tug....it is exhilarating!

But the first catch is even more so!!!!

I'm so glad that my son loves my all-time favorite "fishing snack", Armour Vienna Sausage. Dad and I would have them every time I went fishing with him as a little (and not so little) girl.

We could several today. Zander was even pulling in some himself!!! Out of the 20 or so we caught though we only had 2 keepers. The kids were thrilled when we measured this one and it was 13 inches!

This week vacation to Kentucky is just what I've needed. After being sick I have felt better but this seems to be the rejuvenation I need to truly be me again. Going to the lake to go fishing today just made it even more perfect.

There is just something about fishing. It is a spiritual, soul-awakening, sense-refreshing experience for me. I can't wait to go next time.