Last night after I ate I was trying to decide if I should clean the kitchen (AGAIN), fold the laundry, or organize my receipts. Suddenly I felt a tugging to go color. It was like my 8th grade self got in my brain and said, "Go color and journal!"
So I did......
I have coloring book that I've owned for a few years that is called Color of a Woman. It was designed to journal in and guide you on a personal soulful journey but I'd only previously enjoyed coloring in it. Last night, I started coloring a page of a woman starting on a journey........it said, "Watch out World, Becoming a Bigger and Better Me." As I was coloring, I immediately started writing down my thoughts on the adjoining page about how to be a better me. As I wrote, I felt that 8th grade Korisa emerging again.
You're wondering, "What does she mean by 8th grade Korisa?" I remember in that time in my life I really thought there was nothing wrong with me. I thought I was beautiful, smart, and I would go on to accomplish so many great things. I would write in my journal daily about my hopes and dreams. I was so determined to succeed and live up to my full potential.
Lately, I have felt stuck. Aren't I destined to be more than the maid of my household? I want to stay at home to nurture my children ( and now I realize that means nurturing myself, too). Instead of nurturing them I often feel like a babysitter on a deadline to get the house spotless by the time my husband gets home........which is never accomplished, so then I feel like a failure.
But now I want to be 8th grade Korisa again.......there is more, and I remembered that about myself last night as I colored, journaled, and reflected. I set goals for myself to get back to me again. I really miss that girl!
After I was so deep and thoughtful I then just wanted to color a blank page full of stripes. That was my happy way to think of my friend who loves stripes more than anyone I know. You know who you are!!! I'm so glad I colored that page, every time I look at it I want to laugh as hard as I do when we are together!!!
I look forward to more coloring, journaling, reflecting. My way to get back to me and think of all the things & people I love!!!
3 comments:
Hey Korisa! I love your site and all the blogs. It's great hearing all your stories and thanks so much for sharing your feelings and thoughts...I can truly relate and I look forward to learning more about you..
I am in love with 8th grade Korisa! I think maybe that is real friendship, only seeing the 8th grade versions of each other. That is the only Korisa I have ever known. The rest is just the stuff we have to do to get through a day. Celebrating you and your stripes!
Thanks Jenny...I'm glad you see that version!
Myloan, I'm so happy you've been reading my thoughts. It makes me feel like I'm connecting with you even though I don't get to see you as often as I like!!!
You both are dear, sweet friends!
Post a Comment