Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Am I an assertive person?

I usually think I am. I think of myself as confident, decisive, and thoughtful about my actions. I usually let all of those around me know how I feel about a situation.

But put me out in a public situation and I don't necessarily think that is always the situation.

Last night I went to a book club with some neighbors and friends to a local restaurant. The book club had some great conversation but seemed to be overshadowed by the poor service at the restaurant. (and I picked the place, great)

We were not checked on for drinks, the food was way overdue, and the server just left in the middle of serving us (without telling us). It was indeed a fiasco. But did I speak up, No! Never!
I sat and watched a couple of the neighbors deal with the situation with such boldness and confidence. And thank goodness they did or we would still be waiting on our drinks.

So there goes my "I'm a bold, confident woman theory."

In that situation, or any other dealing with the public, I always smile politely and say "No problem" and then I would whisper to the person beside me, "This service is lousy." Maybe I need to start voicing my opinion to get what I want and not worry about hurting someone's (whom I don't even know) feelings. Matt is always urging me to speak up in these situations......I usually let him be the bad guy instead.

The ironic thing is that I was just lecturing my mom about this same thing last week. Except her situation dealt with someone she knew. I said, "Well, if you want something you just have to speak up and let them know.......or they won't know they're stepping all over you."

Unlike mom, I can usually tell those I know what I want. Which I don't think makes me the better person here? Shouldn't it be respectful to those you love and speak out when you're in a public service situation.

So, I just have to accept......I'm not always assertive. I guess my mom taught me to be kind to others in every situation (which I try to do, even more so as I get older).

So next time I'm out, with poor service, I'm sure I'll still just smile and say ,"That's fine" even when it isn't.

Does that make me a saint or a wimp?

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