Tuesday, November 27, 2007

becoming a bigger, better, me.....growing spiritually

Another item on my list of Becoming a Bigger, Better Me is to grow spiritually. I recently read in the book Eat, Pray, Love (which you must read, if you haven't) to "Look for God...Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water."

And I've been trying......
I read excerpts and books of differing religions, I have prayed, I have meditated, I have written in my journal, I have made gratitude lists......
I feel like I'm becoming more at peace with myself BUT I want to have a sense of the Spirit within me at all times. I want to be like Zander who whenever he sees anything or thinks anything truly joyous to him he just whispers, "Wow.....Oh my Gosh."

I read last night that the true devotee of God will get up early each morning before the rest of the world and fervently pray to God. Well, I didn't exactly get up amazingly early, but I did get up this morning around 6:00 to read my devotional and Bible.

After my readings I got up, turned on the tree lights, and started to tackle my list of daily chores.
Then I turned around and looked at the Christmas tree.
And then I went and sat under it and stared at the lights and ornaments. Ever since I can remember, I always loved gettng up in the mornings and looking at the lights. This moment of quiet reflection has gotten me through many moments of life. I remember looking at it as a little girl and thinking "What a wonderful, fun life I have.....Christmas is here!". I remember when our house got broken into when I was home from college and gazing at the lights a few days later, thinking, "How lucky I am to have made it through that". I remember times staring at the tree and thinking ,"Thank you Lord for sending your Son to the manger and giving us this reason to celebrate."

This morning I sat up and stared and looked at the ornaments Matt & I have collected together through the years, I reminisced fondly when I saw my childhood ornaments, and I laughed when I saw the jumble of kids ornaments at the bottom of the branches. I stared and just let joyous thoughts fill up my soul.

And it hit me.........I've been looking for God with such vigor, I never just stood still and noticed He has been here the whole time. I felt the spirit fill up my body and with tears filling up my eyes whispered, "Wow......Oh my Gosh....."


JennyB said...

i am so glad you loved that book. I think it is one of the yummiest things I have ever read. I can't run off to Italy or India and leave my family and responsibilities behind me (and most days I don't want to :) but I can search for the sacred here. There is so much of it around us and our crazy lives. I feel that same thing with the Christmas tree in the early morning. You are inspiring me to get ours up soon. I also remember talking to you after the break in, so many decembers ago. You are so brave, my beautiful friend. In spite of the distance between us, I am feeling closer to you than ever.

Kara said...

That was so beautiful! Your post really touched my heart.